Things Your Professor Doesn't Want to Hear, Part 1

When I went to a PowerPoint workshop, lo these many years ago, we were supposed to make a final project kind of slide show showing what we had learned. I made a Top Ten-style list of Things Your Professor Doesn't Want to Hear. If I can find it, I'll post the original ten items, but here is a new addition:


Things Your Professor Doesn't Want to Hear:

• I'm no good at <your subject here>."

It lives

I'm going to revive this blog, if only to quiet everyone who says, "That's so good! You should write about it!" I'm still tweaking settings, fonts, links, that sort of thing, and looking for ways to make posting as drop-dead brainless as humanly possible. Got any zombie references I missed adding to that last sentence? Put  'em in the comments!

What I know about work

October 1, 2009 12:31 AM

Rules I have found helpful in the workplace...

1. Everyone else is working at least as hard as you are. Keep this in mind when you’re talking to them and ESPECIALLY when you’re asking them for anything. Commiserate with their workload. Apologize for bothering them. Ask them to tell you who you should be asking about it if it isn’t them. Be very appreciative of anything and everything they do for you.



2. Put more good energy into the universe. Whenever you can say anything good about a coworker, do it. ESPECIALLY to their boss! Make a point of praising people to their boss. The boss will think you’re a good team player, your coworkers will remember you did it, and people will return the favor.



3. Everyone is your buddy. Try hard to remember your coworkers’ kids’ names, what kind of pet they have, the last repair they had done on their car, anything that will show them that you listen to them and that you care. Drop casual references to these things into your small talk with them.



4. People like to talk about themselves. Use this to open conversations with people you don’t know very well, especially when you need something from them. When they politely ask you about YOURself, tell them a little and then turn the conversation back to them.



5. Always treat assistants and secretaries with the greatest respect and appreciation. They hold the keys to their boss’s door, literally and figuratively. You want them on your side.



6. Don’t be afraid of the boss (but do be respectful and, if she appreciates it, deferential). She will respect you back, and you will learn how to become a boss yourself.



7. Be absolutely certain you know who you’re talking to (and who that person is friends with, and who can overhear you) before you say ANYTHING controversial or critical. Stay away from sentences like “Anyone who [likes broccoli, votes Democratic, wears Prada, prefers cats, you get the idea] is crazy,” because sure as hell you’ll find out that the person you’re talking to is a yellow-dog Democrat who feeds broccoli to his Prada-wearing cats. Or if he isn’t, his mama is. Don’t lip off!

Related Tags: advice, schmoozing, politics, career, realpolitik, wisdom, work

NewsGator Go! story - Crapping robot toilet paper holder

This is the perfect gift for my husband and all other poop-obsessed folks. "Sweetie, are you ready to leave yet?" "Yes, honey, I'll be right there -  no, wait! My butt is calling again! I have to go sit on the toilet!" I swear to God this conversation happens every day in my house. Scene 2: "Nnnnnnnnngggggggggghhhhh ahhhhhhhhh! Uhhhhhhnnnnnng! Phew! Aaaaaggggh!"

This crapping robot toilet-paper holder manages to signal your literacy, robophilia, and deep commitment to bowel evacuation, all in one simple package. Bravo!

Newspaper reader - toilet paperholder (Thanks, Alice !)



Boing Boing:
http://www.boingboing.net/2008/12/19/crapping-robot-toile.html

What part of "intellectual inquiry" didn't they understand?

College Bans Nietzsche Quote on Prof's Door :: Inside Higher Ed :: Higher Education's Source for News, Views and Jobs

I'm thinking maybe it's the "intellectual" part. Individual words, by definition context-free, push the buttons* of irrational fear-based lifeforms.

* or pull the triggers, trigger the detonators, ...

You know I love you back.

Slate's presidential election soundboards: John McCain and Barack Obama. - By Christopher Beam, Andy Bouve, and Jim Festante - Slate Magazine

This is enough to make me re-up my Skype subscription. Hm, how can I make some of these part of my answering machine message?

in-freakin'-credible

South Carolina sheriff buys tank to conduct raids - Boing Boing

Too bad Bull Connor's not around to shake this guy's hand and borrow his toys.